Why Pastors Should Have A Written Wedding Policy

Being asked to perform a couple’s wedding is one of the great joys of pastoral ministry. At the same time, however, pastors may be unprepared when the moment arrives. Here are a few reasons why having a written wedding policy is essential:

1) It Requires Pastors To Develop Their Convictions On Marriage

Each pastor must determine where he stands on the issues of marriage, divorce, and remarriage. A written policy forces the pastor to prayerfully study the biblical material and think through his position regarding which weddings he will officiate. While the issues can be complex and controversial, the pastor’s wedding policy ensures he carefully develops his convictions.

2) It Protects Pastors From Impulsive Emotional Decisions Or Reactions

Having a policy written in advance prevents pastors from making decisions based primarily on feelings. Because pastors understandably want to help, they may quickly agree to officiate a wedding without first having asked relevant questions of the couple. Similarly, when a couple receives the pastor’s previously written policy from a church secretary or staff administrator, they are less likely to be offended if they disagree with the pastor’s views. A written position before being asked to officiate a ceremony helps remove much of the purely emotional or personal feelings from the equation.

3) It Demonstrates Scriptural Fidelity

Writing a biblically supported wedding policy demonstrates a pastor’s faithfulness to the Scriptures. Those who read his policy will see the numerous biblical references and passages that inform his views. While some may disagree with the pastor’s conclusions, they must acknowledge he has endeavored to be true to what he believes God has taught in His Word.

4) It Communicates Expectations For Building Use

Wedding policies also allow pastors to communicate specific concerns about gatherings in the sanctuary or other church buildings. Rules or regulations necessary to the pastor or church should be communicated in writing. For example, if the pastor has a view regarding alcoholic beverages on church property, then his policy clearly states that view. His wedding policy may also refer to other necessary church documents addressing the legal use of church facilities.

5) It Prepares Couples For Meaningful Counseling

Pastors who want marriages to stand the test of time will incorporate biblical premarital counseling into their wedding policies. Unlike the wedding ceremony, which can often feel rushed or stressful, premarital counseling sessions afford pastors the greatest opportunity to teach gospel truths. While the frequency of sessions and use of the material may vary, a written wedding policy reveals the pastor’s expectations for each couple as they prepare for their wedding day.