We use our mouths every day. We speak at home, we speak at work, we speak at school, we speak to our neighbors, we speak to our children, we speak to our spouses. Some spouses are challenged by the words they use with one another. Some couples are challenged to speak at all!
A married couple awakened one morning and, like most mornings, had very little to say to each another. The phone rang and the wife answered. Her girlfriend Sally was on the other end so the two chatted awhile. After some time, she asked Sally what she and her husband were doing. Sally replied, “Oh, we’re just sitting here having coffee and talking to each other.” She hung up the phone and looked over at her husband who was reading the newspaper. She said, “Do you know what Sally and her husband were doing this morning? She said they were just having coffee and talking to each other! Isn’t that great? I wish we would do that.” Her husband peered over his newspaper and replied, “Well, we can do that. Put a pot of coffee on.” His wife puts on the coffee, pours a cup for her husband and for herself. Then, after the two sit in silence for a full minute, the husband impatiently barks, “Well, call up Sally and find out what they were talking about!”
Truth is, for most of us it’s not what we don’t say that gets us into trouble, but what we do say. We are far more likely to use too many words than too little. Solomon wisely advises: “The prudent hold their tongue (Proverbs 10:19; NIV).”
If Jesus is known for the “Sermon on the Mount,” James is known for his “Sermon on the Mouth!” Nowhere in all the New Testament do we have such a comprehensive treatment on the danger of the tongue. Here’s how James puts it in James 3:3-12:
3 Indeed, we put bits in horses’ mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body.
4 Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires.
5 Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles!
6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.
7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind.
8 But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.
9 With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God.
10 Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.
11 Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening?
12 Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh.
James gives us in the passage four main characteristics of the tongue:
The Tongue is Influential
Influence can be used for good or bad. This seems to be what James is teaching as he develops his exposition on the tongue. He writes, “Indeed, we put bits in horses’ mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body. Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things.”
James first likens the tongue to a bit used in a horse’s mouth. This tiny piece of metal is placed in the mouth of a horse in order to guide it in the direction desired by the rider. Just a slight tug of the reins and that little bit causes the whole horse to stop, go, or turn one way or the other.
James then compares the tongue to the rudder of a ship. While ships are huge and driven by forceful winds, they are controlled “by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires.” The captain at the helm turns the wheel in one direction, and the rudder turns the ship in the same direction.
Such power! It’s amazing when you think of the great influence of something so small.
James says just as the behavior of the horse is influenced by the little bit, and just as the behavior of the large ship is influenced by a small rudder, so the behavior of a person is influenced by the small tongue.
The tongue “boasts of great things.” It is influential. It is capable of great things, things we should be using it for like praising our Lord, preaching the Word, or speaking well of others.
But the context of this passage tells us that while the tongue can be used in a positive manner, too often we use it in a negative manner. While the tongue is capable of accomplishing “great things,” too often we use it to bring about “great damage.” To this problem James now turns.
The Tonge is Inflammatory
The tongue has the potential to arouse anger and hostility. It is incendiary and fiery. So while the tongue has the ability to “boast great things,” James marvels, “See how great a forest a little fire kindles!”
Just as a small fire spreads and does great damage, so the tiny little tongue is capable of spreading damage far and wide. The tongue has the same potential as a little match when lit and placed near dry, wooden brush.
Several years ago a 10-year-old boy admitted that he had started one of the largest wildfires in Southern California when he was playing with matches. The blaze, called “The Buckweed Fire,” started in the rural community of Agua Dulce and, “fanned by high winds and hot, dry weather…spread quickly, driving 15,000 people from their homes, destroying 21 houses and 22 other buildings, injuring three people and [burning] more than 38,000 acres.”
1It all began with just one match. James says your tongue has the same potential. Just one word. One small word spoken in anger has the potential to do the same destruction. “How great a forest a little fire kindles!” James adds: “And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell”
Interestingly, the word “hell” here is used only twelve times in the New Testament. Jesus uses it eleven times in His teachings in the Gospels and then James uses it here. Jesus referred to hell as the place of final condemnation. It is the place where non-Christians will spend eternity, the place where unbelievers are separated eternally from God because of their sin.
Here is a reminder of the need to have our sins forgiven, our need to turn away from sin and to turn to the only Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, the One who lived for our righteousness and died as a substitute to atone for our sins. The only way to avoid hell is to turn to Jesus Christ and to live for Him.
The tongue is inflammatory. Years earlier, Solomon warned of the same deadly potential of the tongue. He said: “Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down. As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife (Proverbs 26:20-21; NIV).”
Your tongue has the potential to ruin the reputation of others. When you repeat hearsay, when you repeat gossip, or when you fail to direct a critical person to go and talk directly with the person about whom he or she is criticizing, you are using your tongue in a way that tears down rather than builds up.
The tongue is influential and the tongue is inflammatory. But there is more:
The Tongue is Incorrigible
James says, “For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.”
If you have visited the zoo or been somewhere like Sea World, you likely have marveled at man’s ability to tame all kinds of creatures. Both lion and lion tamer are in the same cage. Elephants gently place their foot upon a man’s body. Dolphins jump through hoops to the delight of a watching crowd.
James suggests that it is remarkable that man can tame these wild animals, but is not so good at taming his own tongue.
Yet surely James does not mean that man is left without a solution. Surely he is not just ranting, concluding there is nothing that can be done about the matter. Indeed, it is by God’s grace and our sanctifying growth in Christ that we are able to control our tongues. After all, “What is impossible with man is possible with God (Luke 18:27).”
Humanly speaking “no man can tame the tongue.” Left to our own devices we are incapable of “breaking it” and taming it successfully and consistently. We are sinners. No amount of mere grit and human effort will finally succeed in overcoming the unruly tongue. This is James’ point.
He describes the incorrigible tongue as, “an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.” Like an arrow with a poisoned tip ready to be shot at one’s enemies, so are the words we shoot at others, words “full of deadly poison.”
We must watch our words, how we talk to others, how we talk to our children, our spouse, our neighbors, our co-workers, our fellow church members. To quote Solomon: “He who holds his tongue is wise (Proverbs 10:19; NIV).”
Some are proud of their ability to “tell it like it is.” Like the woman who approached the great Methodist evangelist John Wesley and boasted: “Mr. Wesley, I pride myself in speaking my mind. That,” she added, “is my talent.” Wesley replied, “Well ma’am, the Lord wouldn’t mind if you buried that talent!”
The tongue is influential, the tongue is inflammatory, and the tongue is incorrigible. Finally:
The Tongue is Inconsistent
James notes the irony that with the same tongue we praise God and then turn right around and say something that destroys others. We are inconsistent in using our tongue for good. He writes, “With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God.”
How inconsistent we are with our tongues! We gratefully exclaim, “Praise God” or “God is good” and then immediately spew hateful invective upon a person who has wronged us. One moment we are using our tongue for good and the next for evil. And when we speak evil of others, we are guilty of “cursing men who have been made in the similitude (or likeness) of God.”
When you speak evil of another person you are verbally attacking someone made in the image of God—believers and unbelievers alike. There is no other creature on the planet who is more like God than a human being. There is a very real sense, then, that when you and I speak hatefully about another person that we are speaking hatefully about God Himself.
Incredulously James states, “Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.” We can almost picture James saying these words. Shaking his head, he lifts his hands palms upward as if to grasp for something he can’t find, then proclaims to any who will hear him, “These things ought not to be so!”
He is right, of course. These things ought not to be so. Yet how often are we guilty of doing the very things he forbids? We can be singing praises in a worship service and then, immediately after worship, approach another church member and engage in gossip. Moments earlier we were singing, “I’m so glad I’m a part of the family of God,” and now we are using that same tongue to speak inappropriately about one of the family members. These things ought not to be so.
To further illustrate the utter inconsistency with which we use our tongues, James draws upon nature. Rhetorically he asks, “Does a spring send for the fresh water and bitter from the same opening?” And of course the implied answer is “No” as indicated by his conclusion: “Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh.”
A modern day paraphrase might be: “When you turn on your kitchen faucet does it produce both fresh water and salt water?” Of course not. So just as a spring (or kitchen faucet) produces only one kind of water, so our tongues should be used to speak in only one kind of way. We should consistently use our words in a helpful way rather than a harmful way.
Mixing metaphors, James proves the point further by interposing questions related to horticulture. He asks, “Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs?” Again, the implied answers are “No, of course not!” No one has ever seen a fig tree that bears olives instead of figs or a grapevine that produces figs instead of grapes.
James is using absurdity to illustrate the tragic inconsistency of the tongue. We should use our tongues consistently, using our words only for good and never for evil.
Danny Akin, president of Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, illustrates how inconsistent use of the tongue harms families:
2Have you ever stopped to think what it is like to be a child and hear some of the things they hear coming out of the mouth of mom and dad? The same mouth that hopefully says, “I love you, I’m so proud of you, I thank God He gave you to me,” may also be heard to say, “Shut up. Put that down. Stop that right now. I don’t care what you are doing, come here right now. Listen to me. Give me that. Don’t touch that. Not like that, stupid. Go away. Leave me alone. Can’t you see I’m busy? Boy, that was really dumb. Can’t you do anything right? You’d lose your head if it wasn’t screwed on. Hurry up, we don’t have all day! What’s the matter with you? Can’t you hear anything? I don’t know what I’m going to do with you. You will never grow up to amount to anything.” And with word like these we don’t bless, we curse. We don’t build up, we tear down. And parents, words are powerful when directed at our children.
Let us conclude James’ teaching on the tongue by endeavoring to do three things in the days ahead. May this be our daily prayer as we ask for God’s help.
1) Think before I Speak
Someone has encouraged our asking the following questions before we open our mouths to speak. We should first ask ourselves:
Is it True?
Is it Kind?
Is it Necessary?
Does it improve upon the silence?
2) Use My Words to Edify
To edify is “to build up.” We should always speak in ways that “build up” another person, helping them, rather than “tearing down” that person with our words.
3) Encourage Others to Do the Same (No Gossip)
We help others when we refuse to engage in negative criticism or gossip. We also help others by lovingly correcting them when they speak this way. When a person begins to speak to you in a way that is harsh or critical of another person, remind them that Jesus teaches to go to that person directly with their criticism (Matthew 18:15-17). Tell them: “Do as Jesus says. Go to that person directly and share with them.” And be sure that you yourself do the same.
What About You?
- Do you see an overall pattern of improvement in the use of your tongue? If not, what does this mean and what will you do about it?
- How does the secular world operate regarding James’ teaching on the tongue? In other words, do you think successful CEOs speak the way James urges?
- What are ways you can use your tongue this week to edify a spouse or a child or another family member?
- “The New York Times” November 1, 2007.
- “The Power of the Tongue,” sermon accessed July 12, 2017.
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