Being A Biblical Husband (Pt.1)

What does the Bible teach about biblical marriage? We have previously studied what 1 Peter 3:1-6 teaches about biblical wives; the blessing of a biblical wife, and the behavior & beauty of a biblical wife. Today, as we continue our verse-by-verse study of 1 Peter, we look at 1 Peter 3:7 and learn what God teaches about biblical husbands.

And, while Peter has some straightforward teaching here for husbands, this verse may also be used to teach a son, a grandson, a nephew, or a friend. A woman may use the verse in the same way; teaching her son or grandson about what it means to be a biblical husband. So this verse is ultimately for everyone’s benefit:

Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7)

Let’s focus on each phrase of this verse as we learn how husbands are to relate to their wives.

Be Committed to Her 

The first thing Peter says in verse 7 is “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding.” The phrase, “dwell with them” is used as an imperative that could be translated, “keep on living in the house.” Peter assumes that husbands will continue to keep their commitment.

I’ve often said that my wife can never leave our marriage, because if she leaves, I’m going with her! I have committed to living my life with her. I have committed to “dwell with her;” to “keep on living in the house” with her.

My wife can never leave our marriage, because if she leaves, I’m going with her.

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One of the challenges many pastors and counselors face in modern day marital counseling is teaching commitment in situations where the couples’ parents & in-laws are playing interference. A husband and wife are having some such difficulty, and a mother-in-law or a father-in-law gets involved. Perhaps a husband gets angry and decides he doesn’t love his wife, so he leaves the house and goes to stay at his mother’s house.

Now I’ve got an idea if I ever tried that, my mother would probably say something like, “Well, I guess you can stay here for a day or two, but that’s it. You made a commitment. Keep it.”

If we have pledged our hearts to our spouse, if we have stood at the marriage altar and promised, “I will for better or for worse,” then we need to keep our word. Frankly, what is commitment if it doesn’t mean that we are committed?

It’s not the intention of this post to address every possible scenario that might end in divorce. I do believe the Bible permits divorce and remarriage, but in very limited circumstances. ¹Too often, however, it seems that many troubled spouses prematurely jump to those “permissions,” entirely missing God’s ideal: remaining committed to each other in the marriage.

Be Considerate of Her

“Dwell with them with understanding.”

This means a husband should seek to understand his wife’s needs and regularly consider what the Bible teaches about the nature of marriage.

To “dwell with them with understanding” means, for example, that a husband will consider what his wife is instructed in the previous verses. A biblical husband understands verses 3-6 from our previous post and seeks to praise his wife for her inner beauty as well as her outward adornment.

The biblical husband seeks to be like the husband of the Proverbs 31 woman, a woman of whom the Scripture says: “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her (saying): “‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all (Proverbs 31:28:29).’”

Husbands, be committed to her, be considerate of her, and thirdly:

Be Crazy about Her

The next phrase in verse 7 is “giving honor to the wife.” A husband is to “honor his wife.” I’m calling that “be crazy about her!”

The word “honor” is often used generically as in “honor the rules” or “honor this policy,” and so forth. But that usage hardly captures Peter’s meaning. When Peter says husbands are to “give honor to their wives,” he’s talking about the idea of cherishing a wife as a precious treasure.

There’s a way we treat things we cherish. When something is precious to us, we take special care of it. That’s what Peter means here when he says, “dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife.” To give honor to her is to cherish her; to be crazy about her, to treat her as the special person she is.

When a guy who loves fishing gets a new rod & reel, he treats that thing like it’s a priceless treasure! He takes special care of it, admiring it, happily telling others about it, (kissing it?!), and making sure it doesn’t get hurt in any way. He doesn’t let anyone else use it and he doesn’t let anyone else near it. That rod & reel is his alone and he loves it!

In a similar way, a husband’s “giving honor to his wife” is treating her as a precious treasure; taking special care of her, admiring her, happily telling others about her, and protecting her.

According to Peter, a husband shows that he cherishes his wife and that he’s crazy about her by doing two things. In the second half of verse 7, Peter essentially says:

Guard her as her Strong Protector
Grow with her as her Spiritual Partner

We’ll return to these two points in our next post on 1 Peter. Until then, enjoy biblical marriage (if you are married, of course!).

1. Divorce, for example, is permitted in the cases of fornication (any sinful, sexual activity, including marital unfaithfulness of a marriage partner) and abandonment of a spouse by a non-believing partner who initiates divorce due to a perceived incompatibility with a Christian. These two permissions, along with the question of remarriage, will be addressed in a future post.