As we continue our verse-by-verse study of 1 Peter, we return to 1 Peter 3:7 to learn what God teaches about biblical husbands. In our previous post on this verse we noted that biblical husbands are to relate to their wives in three ways:
- Be Committed to Her
- Be Considerate of Her
- Be Crazy about Her
Now, we build upon that third point (Be crazy about her) as we study the latter part of verse 7:
“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel…”
A husband shows that he cherishes his wife, and that he’s crazy about his wife, by doing two things. First, he will:
–Guard her as her Strong Protector
The biblical husband protects his wife, giving honor to the her “as to the weaker vessel,” or to the weaker partner.
What exactly does that mean? Specifically, in what way is the wife a “weaker vessel” or “weaker partner” in comparison to her husband?
Well, it cannot mean that she is morally weaker or intellectually weaker. Nor can it mean that she is essentially weaker in terms of value, worth, or dignity as a human being. We treated this at length in our introductory message on this section.
Husbands and wives are essentially equal. Whatever essence–whatever stuff–that is found in a man is the same essence or stuff found in a woman; the two are essentially equal. And yet, while the husband and wife are essentially equal they have different roles: the husband is head of the wife. He is her leader. And the wife is helper and completer as she submits to his leadership.
We illustrated this previously with the doctrine of the Trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are essentially equal. All of God is found in the Father, and all of God is found in the Son, and all of God is found in the Holy Spirit. Yet, there are different roles among the Persons of the Trinity: the Son submits to the Father and the Holy Spirit submits to both the Father and the Son. So, there is equality among the Persons of the Trinity, though each Person has a different role or function in relationship to others.
In the same way, the husband and wife are equal in terms of essence, worth, and dignity. And yet, each has a different role or function in relation to the other.
So when Peter says in verse 7 that husbands are to give honor to the wife “as to the weaker vessel,” he cannot mean weaker in the sense of being weaker in essence. He cannot mean the wife is essentially weaker; intellectually weaker, or morally weaker.
While there are always exceptions that prove the rule, generally speaking, a man’s body is constitutionally stronger than a woman’s body. So Peter is most likely writing with reference to the wife’s being physically weaker. Common sense bears out this understanding, does it not? Generally speaking, men are physically stronger than women.
But note the word-ending there in verse 7! The ending attached to the word “weak” is “-er.” Weaker. Weaker than whom? Weaker than her husband, of course. In other words, men are weak, too.
Remember what Peter wrote back in chapter 1, verse 24, where he was contrasting the physical bodies of mankind with the eternal Word of God? Quoting from Isaiah, Peter says in 1 Peter 1:24, “All flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of the grass. The grass withers, and its flower falls away,”–now verse 25–“But the Word of the Lord endures forever.”
All men are as grass: here today and gone tomorrow. Both wives and husbands are weak in this sense. Generally speaking, however, the husband is stronger. Therefore, the biblical husband seeks to guard his wife as her strong protector.
So the biblical husband takes care of his wife. After all, he is crazy about his wife, so he naturally seeks to guard her and protect her. He cares about her safety. He sees that she has what she needs.
There are implications here for the husband’s taking care of his wife. The husband ensures that his wife and children are cared for, that the home is in good shape and good order, that there’s plenty of food on the table, and that there is money in the bank.
His wife also may be able to work outside the home in addition to fulfilling her mothering role and responsibilities, but ultimately it falls to her husband to ensure that the family is adequately provided for. He is the leader of the family, cherishing his wife as something precious to behold.
A caring husband will call or text his wife periodically just to see how she’s doing. He makes sure she is treated as one who is precious.
This “guarding her as strong protector” is related to the second way in which a biblical husband demonstrates that he is crazy about his wife: not only by guarding her as her strong protector but, secondly, Peter says to husbands:
–Grow with her as her Spiritual Partner
“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life,”
The wife is the husband’s spiritual partner. Husband and wife are “heirs together of the grace of life.” Husbands and wives are growing together in the grace of life.
As a husband and wife are drawn closer to God, they are drawn closer to each other. Similarly, the closer a biblical husband and a biblical wife are to each other, the closer they are to God.
How can a husband live with his wife as “being heirs together of the grace of life? He can do this by continuing to lead his wife to follow Christ. A biblical husband loves his wife the way Christ loves the church. Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her.”
A biblical husband loves his wife the way Christ loved the church. And how did Christ love the church? He cherished the church. He prayed for the church.
Men, pray for your wives–and pray with your wives. Take her by the hand occasionally and say to her, “Let’s pray.” Then, pray for your wife and for her children. Get down on your knees at the bed of your sons and daughters and pray for the family. When you do this, not only will your children feel loved and be influenced by your actions, but so will their mother.
Show your love for your spiritual partner. Show your love for the one with whom you are an “heir together of the grace of life.” Show your love for her by standing with her as your partner.
Defend her. Take her side in an argument with the in-laws. Don’t be like the passive father in the situation comedies on television who never sides with his wife and cowers before his mother (ever heard of Everybody Loves Raymond?!). You’re not an “heir together” with your mother, but an “heir together” with your wife. She is your spiritual partner.
Show your love for her by leading. Take her to church with you. Take your kids to church when she is sick. Take the other kids to church with you when she stays home with one of the sick ones.
Do you know that gospel song “Excuses?” It’s about how the devil works overtime to keep Christians away from the church. Some of the lyrics are:
When people come to know the Lord, the Devil always loses
So to keep them folks away from church, he offers them excuses.
Well, a headache Sunday morning and a backache Sunday night.
But by work-time Monday morning, you’re feeling quite alright.
While one of the children has a cold, “Pneumonia, do you suppose?”
Why, the whole family had to stay home, just to blow that poor kid’s nose!
Husband, do not expect your wife and children to grow any closer to God than you yourself are willing to lead them. Don’t be passive. Lead your wives. Lead your children. Lead them to worship publicly and lead them to worship privately, at home.
Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church; praying for her, praying with her, being patient toward her, forgiving her, and cherishing her in every way.
Be committed to her, be considerate of her, and be crazy about her. Fourthly and finally, Peter issues this warning:
Be Careful Leading Her
Be careful. Notice the very last phrase, the very last thing Peter says in verse 7:
Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
Failure to lead biblically affects your relationship with God
Our relationship with others always affects our relationship with God. Jesus taught the same truth in Matthew 5:23-24 where He said if we have a problem with a fellow believer, then we need to make it right with that person before going to God in worship.
And the same principle applies in family relationships. Husbands, lead your wives biblically or your prayer life will suffer. You cannot expect to grow spiritually if you’re not leading your wives.
Often a man may wonder why God seems distant. It may well be because he is not leading his wife as a biblical husband.
See the warning in the passage, men! Don’t gloss over it. If you fail to be the husband God has called you to be, your prayer life will suffer.
What About You?
- Do you agree that a man is generally “physically stronger” than his wife? If not, what do you think is the meaning of the phrase “weaker vessel?”
- Why do you think so many situation comedies portray husbands as weak leaders?
- If you are a married man, do you ever sense that your prayers are not “getting through?” Could it be because you are not living in accordance with what God teaches in 1 Peter 3:7?
Wordpress Comments: