7 Encouragements To Strengthen Ministry Families

Shortly after my call to ministry, I met with a seasoned pastor who stressed the importance of spending adequate time with one’s family, acknowledging his shortcomings in this area. What I recall most about that afternoon was a phone call that interrupted his counsel. On the call, the pastor learned of a ministry need he felt required immediate attention. His wife, who was also present in the meeting, reminded her husband he had promised to take his grandson fishing and suggested the ministry need could wait (and it probably could). The pastor, however, said he couldn’t keep the commitment with his grandson and would have to cancel. I remember feeling the irony of that situation: a pastor regretting years of putting the church before his family–yet doing that very thing once again.

How can pastors minister effectively while also strengthening their families? Here are seven suggestions:

1) Prioritize Family Realistically

I unsuccessfully employed a popular priority model in my early ministry: “God first, family second, church third.” I quickly learned few decisions fell so nicely into that neatly structured paradigm! Pastoral ministry requires fluidity that allows for interruptions and emergencies. We must prioritize family time yet remain flexible enough to address urgent matters wisely.

2) Teach Family Ministry In The Church

Regularly emphasizing family care in preaching and teaching helps churches grow healthier families. Members learn to invest time in the spiritual development of their own families and grow in their appreciation for their pastor’s efforts to do the same.

3) Have Family Devotions

Family devotions are relatively easy and require little time to be effective. Moreover, a pastor blesses his wife by taking her by the hand and leading her in prayer. And ties with children are strengthened when fathers regularly pray with each of them.

4) Schedule “Dates” With Family Members

Having a regularly scheduled day or time to be with each family member provides meaningful moments that strengthen the family. Marriages grow stronger when pastors and wives share quality time together. And children feel honored knowing their father has scheduled a special time to be with them.

5) Be Careful Making Promises To Family

Because of daily uncertainties, ministers should avoid making promises they cannot keep. Inevitable emergencies require immediate attention that may result in rescheduled plans. Most family members understand occasional interruptions, but if we habitually fail to keep our promise to “be there,” we create unnecessary resentment.

6) Endeavor To Keep Family Commitments

While avoiding making promises we cannot keep, we must also recognize not every ministry demand requires immediate action. Leaning upon other staff or volunteers allows others to minister and helps us keep family commitments. Suggesting alternatives to members is also helpful: “I’ve got a commitment this evening, but I’m free in the morning. What’s a good time for you?”

7) Rest In God’s Sovereignty Over Your Family

Family devotions and quality time are essential to developing healthy families but are no guarantee families will not struggle. For reasons often known only to God, some families experience great hardships and difficulties. Especially in these times, we are strengthened by remembering God is sovereign and always does what is right.