5 Reminders About Pastoral Care Visits

Most pastors spend a great deal of time making pastoral care visits. Thankfully, many churches are blessed with multiple staff, elders, deacons, and laypersons who share in this responsibility. In order to provide the most effective ministry, it’s helpful to evaluate our current practices. Whether visiting members in the hospital or at home, here are five things to remember about pastoral care visits:

1) Listen Before Knocking

This practice is especially relevant to hospital visits but also applicable to other situations. Because most hospital visits are unannounced, we are wise to pause for a moment at the door and listen for any signs our visit may be untimely. For example, it’s nearly always best to wait for hospital staff to finish their work before entering the room. Additionally, listening for a moment at the door may indicate another visitor is in the room. Patiently waiting for their visit to conclude honors their time together and ensures we don’t interrupt a meaningful conversation.

2) Keep Your Visit Brief

Situations vary, but most hospital visits should be around 10-15 minutes. Some visits are shorter, especially when we sense the person is tired or uncomfortable. Other visits are more extended because the one we visit is especially animated and enjoys our company. And, it may be helpful to spend a bit more time sitting with family during their loved one’s surgery. In any case, it’s usually better to hear someone say they wish we could stay longer than to know we’ve overstayed our visit.

3) Don’t Talk Too Much

Most of the time, pastors just need to show up to make good pastoral visits. Too often, however, we’re tempted to talk more than we should. I agree with Stanford business professor and communication expert Matt Abrahams: “Sometimes the best way to communicate is to say nothing at all.”¹ When members are in the hospital, they usually don’t feel like talking much and are frequently blessed simply by our brief visit and prayer. This is especially true during bereavement visits. When people are grieving, it’s typically not our words that bring them comfort but our presence.

4) Take One Person With You When Possible

Taking one person with you on pastoral visits is a discipleship opportunity that may also bring additional encouragement to the one being visited. It’s also a way to build camaraderie among deacons, staff, and laypersons. And when a pastor brings along a spouse, son, or daughter, he is allowing his family to share in the care of a congregation.

5) Always Conclude With Prayer

Near the end of the visit, simply ask, “May I pray for you?” and then lead in a brief prayer asking for God’s comfort, strength, and encouragement. During hospital visits, it’s good to pray for hospital staff, too, as they are generally nearby and often appreciate prayer. If the person you are visiting is asleep, it’s usually best not to wake them. Just offer a silent prayer and leave a brief note telling them you were there.

PREVIOUS COMMENTS:

1. directorfsmVery good advice. I recently applied for a Hospital Chaplain position at a local “Baptist” hospital. At the end of the interview, they asked if I had any questions. Since prayer had not been mentioned, I simply asked/pointed out that my wife had been hospitalized twice here in the past year each time, a Chaplain came to visit saying we are here to help, gave us a business card, and left. Why is it that they never asked if they could pray for us? The response was that is not our policy, we encourage the congregates’ local pastor to do that. 🤯
   
2. Comment by post authorTodd Linn, PhDI’m with you, brother. Seems so easy to offer up a prayer, and very rarely–if ever–does anyone object.

1. Matt Abrahams, Think Faster, Talk Smarter: How to Speak Successfully When You’re Put on the Spot (New York: S&S/Simon Element, 2023), 74.